The war in my heart

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Hebrews 12:14 



Make every effort to live in peace with all men. That's a big one. That's a life changer for sure.

I'll start with the meaning of peace. I found a bunch in the dictionary, but this one called my attention:

  1. the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.
I know it's not specifically talking between men to men, but I feel the word "nonwarring" needs to be present in my life.  So in the Bible it talks about how we are constantly in war, not against each other but against principalities and spiritual wickedness. It also talks about how our weapons are not carnal. The Bible is clear about how we are at constant war, but is even clearer about the fact that is not against each other. 
Well if I'm not supposed to be in war with them, then why am I not at peace?
You see, the fact that this verse talks about making every effort to be at peace with ALL men is what's hard for me. It's easy for me to be at peace with people I like. But I'm certainly not living at peace with everyone. I know im in war with someone when I attack them in my mind or when I become defensive. I lift my shield to cover my face and ready my sword in case I'll need it... just as if I was in war. 
To be in war with someone doesn't necessarily mean I'm fighting with them or having a discussion. It means I have something against them in my heart. And according to this verse, God doesn't want that. In fact, he wants for me to make every effort to be live with a "nonwarring" condition with everyone.
Now the words MAKE EVERY EFFORT are key too.
It doesn't mean that I can be like: "God I'm making every effort to forgive this person so my heart is not in war with them, but it's so hard. I already tried everything I can think of with all of me but it didn't work. I run out of ideas and i just don't know what else to do. I'm making every effort though, and you basically commanded me just to do that. So I guess I'll just keep trying and making every effort and not actually forgiving since that's the only thing you are asking for"
NO!
STOP!
I KNOW MYSELF
Forgiveness HAS to happen even if I have to fight for it. I have no right to do otherwise. Not after what He did in the cross for me.

i don't get to twist the words in order to fit my agenda. 
Before I said I can be at war with someone just by having something against them in my heart.i don't need for the other person to be at war with me for this. The other person might me either completely fine, not even aware or actually already forgave me for what I did to THEM. 
And this can happen the other way around too. Maybe me and my brother or sister wronged each other, but I already forgave them and repented myself. I already put my sword down and gave up on war. But that doesn't mean they did the same, that doesn't mean they were able to repent and forgive me too. They might still have war against me in their heart, and that means that we are not in a "nonwarring" condition. 
That's were I believe the making every effort part pitches in.
Just like God, we can't force people to make decisions . We can't force them to forgive us or to repent. But we can make every EFFORT through praying, seeking confrontation, confessing our sin against them etc. to make amends. Even by smiling to them and giving them another chance when undeserved we are making efforts to be at peace. And God is asking to make EVERY EFFORT. 

That's something big, and now that God has been faithful to reveal it to me, I have to be faithful to practice it.

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