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The war in my heart

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Hebrews 12:14 



Make every effort to live in peace with all men. That's a big one. That's a life changer for sure.
I'll start with the meaning of peace. I found a bunch in the dictionary, but this one called my attention:
the normal, nonwarring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world.
I know it's not specifically talking between men to men, but I feel the word "nonwarring" needs to be present in my life.  So in the Bible it talks about how we are constantly in war, not against each other but against principalities and spiritual wickedness. It also talks about how our weapons are not carnal. The Bible is clear about how we are at constant war, but is even clearer about the fact that is not against each other.  Well if I'm not supposed to be in war with them, then why am I not at peace? You see, the fact that this verse talks about making every …

Teaching at Kids Club about our good God

4Cuando oí estas palabras me senté y lloré, e hice duelo por algunos días, y ayuné y oré delante del Dios de los cielos. 5 Y dije: Te ruego, oh Jehová, Dios de los cielos, fuerte, grande y temible, que guarda el pacto y la misericordia a los que le aman y guardan sus mandamientos; 6 esté ahora atento tu oído y abiertos tus ojos para oír la oración de tu siervo, que hago ahora delante de ti día y noche, por los hijos de Israel tus siervos; y confieso los pecados de los hijos de Israel que hemos cometido contra ti; sí, yo y la casa de mi padre hemos pecado. 7 En extremo nos hemos corrompido contra ti, y no hemos guardado los mandamientos, estatutos y preceptos que diste a Moisés tu siervo. 8 Acuérdate ahora de la palabra que diste a Moisés tu siervo, diciendo: Si vosotros pecareis, yo os dispersaré por los pueblos; 9 pero si os volviereis a mí, y guardareis mis mandamientos, y los pusiereis por obra, aunque vuestra dispersión fuere hasta el extremo de los cielos, de allí os recogeré, y os tr…

I am dust, and so is everyone else

13 As a father shows compassion for his children,
So the Lord shows compassion for those who fear Him.
14 For He knows our frame;
He remembers that we are dust.

Psalms 103:13-14



I am not a parent. The closest thing I've ever felt to worrying about my child is worrying about my students. I'm sure it's not nearly as close as I would feel about my own kid, but whenever I see my students hurt or worried it PAINS me. And don't get me wrong, my students are far from perfect, and honestly sometimes they deserve what they are getting, because it's a consequence for their acts, yet i still feel compassion  for them. It's difficult for me to think that God feels the same way about me. I sometimes believe that he expects perfection from me since I should know better and all the tools I need to live a Christian life are found in the Bible. But since He is my father, he actually KNOWS me. He knows me beyond the mask that I put on. The fact that he knows and still decides to have…

1 timothy 4:8

"8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things,holding promise for both the present lifeand the life to come." 1Timothy 4:8

When i read this verse the story of mary and martha comes to my mind. While martha was not doing a bad thing by trying to serve her guests, mary chose the best part. Im very used to being presented with the message of choosing doing good over sin. And in a way its easy to choose the first option, because by the grace of God i know what the path of sin can take me to. I struggle way more when i have to choose between a not nessesarily bad way or Gods way. For example going to college was obviously not a bad path, but God had something better for me this year. I think that this verse is saying how investing in things from this world, even though they might not be bad, will never compare to living a life in Gods will, wich means investing in our eternal life.

1 John 1:5-7

5 This is the message we have heard from him "and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." 1 John 1:5-7


   John 8:12 says that Jesus is the light of the world. Darkness cant stand the light. Because Jesus is part of the trinity, and he is light, there is absolutely no darkness in God.
Verse 6 says that if we walk in darkness then there is no posssible way we can have fellowship with God,  because he is in the light. Obviously if im following him and walking with him i have to be walking the same path, which is light. Depending in where im walking is the people that are going to be surounding me. If i walk in darkness then people in same path are gping to be comfortable with me because im just lik…

Philippians 3:8

8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ" Phillipians 3:8


This verse was kind of hard for me to understand. It says that i count all things  loss for the excellence of the knowledge of christ. What does that even mean? Does it mean that the deeper i get into my relationship the more i will have to count as loss? Does a deeper relationship with Jesus mean more sacrifice? Mathew 7 14 says...... if the gate is narrow im guessing some of the nongodly attitutes i hold dear to my heart wont fit. That means i will have to get rid of my pride, self pitty, selfishness etc. I will have to sacrifice that to gain entrance to the path of life, which is christ. This are things i already know,and wven though i have difficulty practicing them, i still recognize its something that must be done and is for my own good. But what about things im s…

Job 1:21

21 and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.”  Job 1:21
I honestly dont even know why i picked this verse. Im not even there in my walk yet; im barely learning and trying to give away my relationship and feelings to God. But i want to be there, this verse helps me to put matters into perspective. Here i am, week 1 of training, trying to hold on to my relationship and my extreme deoendance on my parents. And there i'll be be in week -------, completely wrecked and humbled, and ready to ask God what He wants me to give away to him next. Because i'll learn that there is no safer place than His hands.
But im not there yet, and i won't be if i don't start walking. I'm stuck in not wanting to give to God what He's askinsg from me right now. He knows where i'm at and what I can do and what I can't. Yet It's me that is not letting the process go on. I d…

Galatians 5:13

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13
The first thing that came to my mind when reading this verse was: thats it!That's the perfect comeback for unbelievers that view my life as oppressed by religion. In other words, the first thing i did was think about how it could be useful to other people instead of me. I was tfirst thinking about taking care of the speck thats in their eye instead of the log in my eye like luke 16:42 says.

God has been showing me what real freedom is. The world portrays it as being able to do whatever you want as long as it doesnt harm others, and i guess superficially it doesnt really sound awful. The enemy is smart, he knows how to word things into  sounding harmless. thats why its important to stay in Gods word, trh truth, so that i dont fall for one of these lies. Real freedom is being able to say no to those things tht once…

Ephesians 1:21

There is no room for pride when following Jesus. He has been faithful in showing me that through His example in the Bible. But as a person that has an extreme amount of pride and that unrighteously wants to still keep it,its easy to postpone the practice of this.
My pride comes from not wanting to appear vulnerable to other people anymore, becuase i was once there and i feel embarrased because of it. I hide the fact that i still have a bitter heart that needs to do a lot of forgiveness. I know, it doesnt sound like a christian is speaking, right?
The point of saying all this is to try to give an explanation of how and why i have a bitter heart. A prideful heart will not submit to others, because it believes it deserves way better. A bitter heart believes its been hurt enough times and therefore no one has the right to ask anything from it. But what stuck out to me was the part of the verse where it says " in the fear of God". Proverbs 14 26 says that In the fear of the Lord…